Subtitle by Aldi Arman
I want a girI.
He is naughty. At 40.
He is sexy. He is a hottie.
He is naughty. At 40.
He is sexy. He is a hottie.
I'm naughty. I'm naughty. I'm naughty.
I know you want it. -I'm naughty. I'm naughty.
I know you want it. -I'm naughty. I'm naughty. At 40.
I'm naughty. I'm naughty. I'm naughty.
Want a girI. -I'm naughty.
Want a girI.
He is naughty. At 40.
He is sexy. He is a hottie.
He is naughty. At 40.
He is sexy. He is a hottie.
Ouch.
I want a girI.
'Britain's capitaI, London.'
'The city of dreams.'
'Everything here is unique.'
'PeopIe from aII corners of the gIobe come..'
'..here to see the beautifuI sights.'
'And some come here to try their Iuck.'
'Some go back.'
'Some just embrace this city.'
'This is Laxmi Narayan Kapoor who came..'
'..to London from India a few years ago.'
'And he just couIdn't go back.'
'The country changed. The attire changed.'
'So the name aIso changed.'
'He went from being Laxmi Narayan to being caIIed LM.'
LM Kapoor.
Even to this day his dying youthfuIness experiences..
..a surge when he sees beautifuI girIs.
Look, I Iagged behind and Iost.
And this is LM Kapoor's wife, Maya..
..who is engrossed in her own worId away from the reaI worId.
She Ioves the one who created the worId than the worId itseIf.
HaiI the Lord! -'And these are LM Kapoor's taIented nephews.
'Sandeep and Randeep who have become..'
'..Sandy and Randy after moving to London.'
'They Iiked the air in the city so much..'
'..that they spend every evening having fun.'
'The manager of LM Kapoor's eIectronic store. Sharafat AIi.'
'See for yourseIf how decent he is.'
Yes, madam. Good morning to you.
I am the manager of this store. -Yes. -Can I heIp you?
I am Iooking for a vacuum cIeaner with a good suction.
Madam, you are hoIding a vacuum cIeaner.
Now see the suction.
Look. I wiII show it to you. -Yes.
See. Check.
Look at this. Up. Up. Up.
Stop it. -Sorry. Sorry.
It has even got a very strong bIower. -BIower.
Yes. You want to see it?
'The Iife here is unique.'
'LM is aIso off to enjoy the weekend Iike others.'
'But what is this?'
'His son Happy is not with him.'
Come on. Come on now.
Sorry to interrupt you, uncIe.
But your dream girI is sitting next to you, isn't it?
The taIe of the dream girI ended with the birth of a son.
No more joy.
Oh, God!
Okay, uncIe. Who is joy?
Brother's name is Happy, right?
HaiI the Lord! -You don't watch your words in front of the kids.
Maya, the kids these days aren't kids anymore.
The London air turns them into an aduIt very quickIy.
But our Happy is stiII simpIe and naïve.
Yes, he is as simpIe as a mystery.
What do you mean by that?
I mean brother Happy never joins us on weekends.
I wonder what he must be up to sitting aIone at home.
I'm naughty. I'm naughty. I'm naughty.
And this is Mr. Kapoor's onIy son, Harvinder.
Everyone IovingIy caIIs him Happy.
He is cent percent Indian in spite of Iiving abroad.
I'm naughty. I'm naughty. At 40.
'He has never been abIe to Iose his heart to anyone..'
'..nor has he been abIe to steaI anyone's..'
'..heart thanks to his shy nature.'
'He is 40 aIready. But he is stiII singIe.'
'He Iikes the inside worId than the outside one.'
'He Iikes it so much that he doesn't..'
'..want to step out of his worId.'
'And nor does he share his feeIings with anyone.'
'That is why some peopIe doubt his character.'
Hi. My son. -How was your weekend?
Weekend is no weekend without you, son.
You teII me. What did you do aII aIone at home for two days?
What do I say? -Why are you asking?
Do you need to ask what a young son wouId do at home?
You don't watch your words in front of the kids. -I wiII get it.
The Iuggage. -You wiII bring my Iuggage. -And aII of you. Go heIp.
You go and take rest. -You must be tired because of the journey.
Come on, brother.
You work and we rest. -How is that possibIe?
No rest for the weekend, brother.
Very good. Very good.
Brother, can I ask you something? -Yes.
Did you invite anyone when we were not here?
Was anyone here? Some girI.
Now what do I say?
Why, brother? -PIease teII us. PIease.
So what? PIease teII us. PIease.
Sandy. -Yes, Randy.
Brother did not say anything.
But he is not naïve.
He wiII speak out sooner or Iater.
He wiII reveaI his feeIings.
'There is no one more probIem in Happy's Iife.'
'He starts sIeep-waIking when the worId sIeeps at night.'
It is aII about sIeep waIking.
Yes. He is sIeepy. SIeepy.
'And whiIe sIeep-waIking..
..he smeIIs girIs and gets drawn to them.'
'His disease of sIeep-waIking Iands him in troubIe.'
'But it causes troubIe to others as weII.'
Hi.
He is sIeepy. SIeepy.
Oh, God!
FeeI my body. FeeI my souI.
Touch me, baby!
Wow! She is doing it on a poIe.
The poIe is one amazing thing.
Sorry. Sorry.
I am in heaven.
She is doing it so sweetIy.
I am in heaven. I am in heaven.
How come Happy has Ianded up here to make my Iife miserabIe?
Mr. Sharafat AIi, before he exposes..
..your decency, save your skin and hide.
Thank you.
Out of the frying pan and into the fire.
What is that?
No. No.
Send that taII poIe dancer aIong with me.
Not again, baby. I am tired. Go to sIeep.
DarIing, do you want some more?
I don't mind.
Who are you? -Who is he?
I don't know. I have never seen him before.
Yes. Another one of your Iovers. -I have never seen him before.
What are you both doing in my bedroom?
Your bedroom? This is our bedroom. -This is my bedroom.
This is my bedroom. -Looks Iike it's everybody's bedroom.
Listen, caII the security.
Security. -Security. -Security. -Security.
She is here.
I am not going to Ieave her tonight.
HeIp.
Who eIse? -Who eIse? -Who knows?
Security. -Security.
You! -Oh, my God! It is my husband.
Oh, my God! -What are they doing here? -What are they doing here?
What are you doing here?
What am I doing here?
Keep sIapping on the butter. Don't act stingy.
BIess us, uncIe. -BIess us. -Okay. God bIess. God bIess.
Where is Happy? -Happy is not in his room -He isn't.
Oh, my God! Where did he go?
Here he comes.
Where are you coming from?
Now what do I say as to where I am coming from? -What do you mean?
I mean this shouId be none of your concern.
What do you mean? -TeII us the meaning of what do you mean?
I mean I had been jogging, father.
What do you mean? -What do you mean? -Darn the meaning.
Henceforth, wear a track suit when you go jogging. -Got it?
Sit. Have breakfast.
Shift.
Don't irritate others.
Don't do that.
Leave her. Leave her.
What? Moron.
My, my! Look.. Look at that.
She shouId not frustrate others.
Hey! Don't frustrate.. Don't. Don't.
No. No.
Are you okay?
No. I am Happy.
How can you be happy when you have just faIIen down?
Yes. But nothing happened to me. You know. -Except you.
FIirt. -No. I am happy.
You are so bad. -Hey! Don't frustrate me.
I toId you I am happy now. -SiIIy.
Surprising. -Father changed my name and did not teII me.
Brother Bitta, I was thinking of marrying some..
..British girI and settIing down here.
You are okay with that. -But I am supposed go to India and..
..marry a simpIe viIIage damseI..
..and settIe down over there.
Forget it.
Marry a viIIage girI. Then have kids.
And send them to schooI to teach them EngIish.
It wouId better if you marry some British girI.
And you wiII not have to send the kids to schooI.
Because they wiII start speaking..
..in EngIish the moment they are born.
And you wiII save on the schooI expenses as weII.
Very smart. Very smart.
Look. Brother Happy is aIso here.
Mr. Sharif. I just don't understand. -But I have.
What have you understood? -What you aIready know.
What do I know? -What you are hiding. -What am I hiding?
ExactIy what you want. -What do I want?
Something you want to say, but you are not saying it.
What do I want to say that I am not being abIe to say?
I can teII you what you are hiding. But I won't.
Got it or not?
I have been expIaining to you since so Iong.
But you don't understand.
Understanding what you need to understand is an understanding.
According to me..
..the one who pretends not to understand is siIIy.
You are siIIy. Don't assume that I am fooIhardy.
My understanding is beyond your comprehension.
Understood, Mr, Sharif? -Got it. Got it.
Don't frustrate me.
You have become naughty. -He has become naughty at 40.
Naughty. Don't caII me naughty for no reason.
We have aIso understood, brother. -What have you understood?
We had seen at night, brother.
You were not in bed. -What?
Where had you been?
I don't discuss my movements.
It is a secret.
He is Iying.
He gives the excuse that he is sIeep-waIking at night.
So do you know where he goes?
No. -No. -No.
I don't know either. -Darn it.
Now I wiII have to do something.
Don't you do anything here.
Go and see what he is doing.
Go.
SheiIa has grown up darIing for you.
HeIIo, brother.
Hi. What's up? -Hey! Don't peek.
HeIIo, brother. AII is weII?
No. They don't Iet you do something peacefuIIy.
Look, I saw him at night.
He foIIows the same poIicy. -Eat, have fun and go to sIeep.
He was with a girI. -I saw him with my own eyes.
What are you saying, brother? -What's happening?
Can't you see? -Brother, what are your pIans for tonight?
The same that everyone eIse has.
Everyone has quite a Iot.
I wiII do a Iot. -To whom?
To my guests.
Guests? -There were no guests in our room. -Let us investigate.
Come on. Come on.
Brother. Brother. -What is it?
Who are the guests expected? -No guest is coming.
What is your probIem?
The probIem is that we want to pIay..
..cards with you during the night.
I hope you won't cheat.
No. -No. -I swear.
Why wouId we?
You don't mix properIy. He doesn't deaI properIy.
I don't pIay properIy.
How can three idiots pIay the game correctIy? -Come on, speak.
Brother, Iet us try if we can do something good.
Practice makes a man perfect.
Right. -But you know what? -Dad doesn't Iike me pIaying cards.
Don't worry about him.
He has sent us.
HeIIo. -UncIe, this is Sandy caIIing from the shop.
Yes, Sandy. TeII me.
We have decided that we wiII check the stock tonight.
So we have asked brother Happy to heIp us.
Yes, son. This is what I expected from you.
Maya, you see how hardworking my nephews are.
They are working at night as weII.
And they have got Happy invoIved as weII. -Thank you, uncIe.
Are you going to have supper or be gIued to the phone?
Brother, you are fooIing us.
Today, you wiII have to teII us who your girIfriend is.
Not girIfriend, brother. GirIfriends.
Friends. You are done for.
Listen, if I teII you something siIentIy..
..but wiII you hear it quietIy and not teII anyone?
No. -We wiII keep mum.
So Iisten quietIy.
And Iet this siIence be.
Listen, mister, what is the big secret?
Brother, are you going to remain siIent..
..or teII us something quietIy as weII?
The truth is that I have no girIfriend.
Not possibIe. -ImpossibIe. -Not possibIe.
You'II be shocked to hear this.
I wonder what you wiII think.
I wonder what you wiII understand. -What!
And what opinion you wiII form about me?
So many possibiIities. Oh, my God!
He is gay. -He is gay. -Right. -I am not gay.
I am a virgin.
Virgin. -Oh, no.
What a news! What a waste!
You have promised that you wiII keep mum.
What wiII peopIe say when they hear this?
That LM Kapoor's son is a virgin in spite of Iiving in London.
You wiII have to together erase the stigma..
..attached to me thanks to my son.
Sharafat, convince him that decency is not everything.
You have to Iearn deception and trickery, too.
Teach him.
Show him what the worId is.
UncIe. -UncIe.
Easy. Easy.
I can understand the tragedy of your Iife.
Don't worry.
Eat. Scratch. Have fun and sIeep.
I wiII transform your son into your daddy.
My daddy.
What say, boys? -Yes!
Come on, brother.
Hey! Dude.
Don't be a fooI.
Hey! Dude.
Don't be a fooI.
Hey! Dude.
Don't be a fooI.
Hey! Dude.
Don't be a fooI.
Listen up. -My friend.
If haven't done anything, then your Iife is a waste.
Listen up. -My friend.
If haven't done anything, then your Iife is a waste.
Why are you Iiving on? -Chugging aIong.
There is no Iove or affection.
Nor are you anyone's Iover.
Your Iife is empty.
Your Iife is worthIess.
Understood?
Oh. Just shut up.
Keep quiet or say whatever you have to freeIy.
What shouId I do? How shouId I do?
TeII me something.
What I have to do?
As I said, paI.
It is simpIe. -Dude, just use it before you Iose.
Understood?
Come with me. Change your cIothes. Step out of the house.
We wiII expIain everything to you.
Son, we wiII teach you.
Some fun. Have a good time. Some hot chicks.
We wiII show you in one night what..
..you haven't seen in years.
Understood?
What is this? What did this happen?
But whatever happened was good.
You have transformed me compIeteIy.
You had said it. Now I wiII say it.
What do I say?
Just Iisten up.
Hey, dude! I am no fooI.
Understood?
Listen, dad has asked me to find a girI in London.
AII of you heIp me, pIease.
Brother Happy, that is why we have brought you here.
Brother Happy, the best girIs of London visit this bar.
Yes. Cream of the crop.
Forget the cream.
I haven't seen a miII yet. -Found one.
Brother, Iook over there.
Look over there.
The girI sitting aIone.
She is even smiIing at you.
I think she Iikes you.
Go, brother. Go.
Go befriend her.
I think she is feeIing your vibes.
FoIks, set me up with her. -I wiII take it from there.
Of course, brother. -Anything to make you happy.
Brother Happy, I am going. -Thank you. Thank you.
Go. Go.
Hi. Beauty, I am Sandy.
Come on. Come.
Brother, she is asking you to come to her room.
PrivateIy. -PrivateIy. -She wants to have a word with you.
I think the job wiII be done.
You aIso come with me.
Your mean we as weII.
The two of you stand outside. -I wiII go in.
Good. -Good.
Made in China.
How is she? -Very good.
Very, very good.
She took a right. A right.
This is the room.
The door is open. -Very good.
I wiII stand outside. You guys go in.
You said that you wiII go in and we wiII stand outside.
That is what I am saying. -You guys stand outside. I wiII go in.
No. I have a better idea.
You go in. We wiII stand outside.
Okay. -Okay.
Shut up.
Thank you. -AII the best.
Why don't you make yourseIf more comfortabIe?
I wiII be right back.
The voice is heavy.
I wiII have to check her out.
What happened? -Very bad.
How was the girI?
UnimaginabIe.
What? How was she?
She has aII the quaIities. -AII the quaIities.
You Iiked her so much.
She seems Iike a girI from the upper body.
And she is a man on the basis of her Iower body. -How come?
The girI has urinating whiIe standing.
But why?
Because she is not a woman. But a man
Oh, dear!
Hey!
Why have you caIIed me here?
Dad, I wonder why at times, I feeI that..
..I am trapped within the circumstances.
I want to trap this trap.
Darn the trap. Come to the point.
Stop beating aground the bush.
Dad, I want a girI. -What?
Do you reaIise what you are saying to your father?
Yes. -What? -I want a girI. -Are you drunk?
Open your mouth. -No.
Look, son. A son shouIdn't ask for..
..such things from his fathers.
Fathers don't arrange girIs for sons.
ShaII I ask mother?
You shouIdn't be asking such things of your parents.
If I meet your demand, you know what peopIe wiII caII me?
Don't you?
Dad, you have fuIfiIIed aII my demands so far.
Who wiII get me a girI if not you?
I am your father for God's sake.
So, dad, when mother married you..
..she must have aIso spoken to her father.
That is caIIed marriage.
I am not saying anything different. -Want to get married?
Yes. -What are you saying? -Why are you crying?
Don't say such things, my son.
Find a girI. I wiII get you married.
If you say, I can wait for 40 years more.
Maya. Maya.
What happened? -Why are you shouting? -Maya, this is amazing.
Our son has asked something from me for the first time.
What has he asked for? -He said he..
What did he did ask for? -He wants a girI.
Oh, God! So you have eventuaIIy spoiIt him.
I haven't spoiIt him, Maya.
He wants a joy for the first time in his Iife.
He wants to get married.
I aIso want to marry.
What nonsense! Oh, God! -What are you saying?!
Oh, God! I want to get my son married. Not myseIf.
I have aIready asked my brother to find a nice girI in India.
And I have toId Happy to go ahead..
..if he finds some nice girI in London. -Oh, God! In London.
Wow! -GirIs Iike her shouId give the massage.
Guys, Iet me know.
To what extent can cIothes be removed here?
Have patience. And you wiII come to know.
A masseuse wiII be here. -And a masseur, too.
But for us, it wiII be a masseuse.
No worries. -I hope there wiII no probIem.
Nothing is going to happen untiI you don't mess up.
But I never mess up.
But I do something, he goes wrong.
Yes. Nothing is going to go wrong here.
OnIy what you want wiII happen here.
Yes. -Yes.
Come on, guys.
Let me know. Let me know.
But, guys, the question is when the girI comes..
..shouId I Iay her down face first or face down.
No. She wiII Iay you down. Not you.
Why? -You haven't come here to pIease her. -She wiII pIease you.
We have paid her. -We have paid her.
We wiII get the pIeasure of pIeasing..
..others by pIeasing ourseIves.
It is such a pIeasurabIe thing.
So be happy. -Shut up.
I am saying be happy.
So what is next?
Don't be Iate.
Go straight. -Lie down. -ShouId I Iay her down or not?
Lay her down. -I wiII do whatever is right.
Whatever.
See you, guys.
Bye.
HeIIo.
Touch me baby.
Touch me baby. -You sIeep. I wiII give you a massage.
No. I wiII give you a massage.
I am a professionaI. PIease. I wiII give you a good massage.
What kind of a massage do you Iike?
Powder massage or oiI massage?
HoId it. -It's okay.
She has asking what kind of a massage I want.
Powder or oiI?
Which one is safe? -Take any one. Both are safe.
I mean there shouIdn't be any probIem or troubIe.
Here. Here.
HeIIo. HeIIo.
Whatever. Whatever.
Okay. PIease.
Where shouId I start from? -Up or down.
HoId. -Okay.
What? -She is asking where she shouId start from. -Up or down.
From the back. -What?
From the back.
Disturbing.
From the back. -Okay, pIease.
You broke my nose.
Excuse me. Forgive me.
Don't give me the massage from the back.
I don't want a massage.
Mr. Sharif. Mr. Sharif. Mr. Sharif.
Just a minute. -Let me wrap the toweI.
You have come at the wrong time. -Yes, teII me. What happened?
You do such disgusting things.
Mr. Sharif, the girI's nose is bIeeding.
From the nose. What have you done! -I did not do anything.
She asked me to Iie down face first.
Then she started cIimbing on my back.
I turned around to see what it was. -And she feII off.
He has made her nose bIeed. -She wiII sue you. -She wiII sue you?
What nonsense! Why wouId she 'Su-su' (Urinate)? -Not urinate.
She wiII sIam a case on you. -I say run.
Run. Run naked.
Doctor's biII. Medicines biII.
Massage biII.
My son came to your massage parIour. -Yes sir.
Happy. To get a massage. -Yes.
And a girI gave him a massage. -Yes.
Your girI.
Are you sure it was a girI? -I am hundred percent sure.
And Happy broke her nose. -Yes.
My Happy. -Yes. Your son's name.
My Happy. Happy.
Yes papa.
Darn your papa.
Why did you go to a massage parIour?
You had toId me to check out some girI.
I asked you to meet a girI. -Not to get a massage.
You had said that, Find a girI.
He never said where I shouId go and where I shouIdn't.
Then go the path I take.
Where do you go? -Where no one goes.
Which pIace is this where onIy you go and no one eIse does?
To your mother.
You have been Iying there for the past 40 years.
You are stiII stuck there.
I know where you go. -My son..
You go for a jog and return after jogging.. -I am sorry, son.
Don't you eat anything?
Son.. -I am a virgin. I am not stupid. Okay. -I understand.
You are not stupid. You are onIy a virgin. -You are not happy.
You are not married.
You have no joy.
No marriage. No joy.
So. How much is your biII?
Papa. Papa.
Excuse me, Papa. -Excuse me. It is a famiIiar voice. -Excuse me.
Stop running, pIease.
What are you doing here? -Now you come so reguIarIy to exercise.
WeII, I.. -What I?
WeII, I.. Sorry.
You are fooIing the entire famiIy.
Why have you come here?
ActuaIIy, I know that you are very sad..
..after knowing that I haven't done anything yet.
Why are you crying? -Let me finish. -Sorry. Proceed.
Dad, actuaIIy..
..the story in the story behind this story is a very tragic one.
Darn the..
Forget the taIe behind the taIe.
TeII me the basis of this story. The basis.
But the story goes Iike this.
Don't Iook there.
I am teIIing the story.
What happened is..
Papa, do you know how much peopIe have irritated me?
They do various gestures at me assuming that I am IoneIy.
That I am aIone.
You are not aIone or anything.
Now here's your father's story.
We wiII find a nice..
..beautifuI, weII-cuItured Iife partner for you.
Not here. In India.
You are not aIone.
You are my son.
'Happy's smart uncIe and aunty Iive in India's Sundar Nagar.'
'They are IandIords. They own gardens and orchids.'
'They don't Iack anything except brains.'
Lord Krishna said..
Who said what?
You are getting into your own house Iike a thief.
Why don't you take the stairs? -You are aIready a heart patient.
I am a heart patient, that is why Shambhu Sharan..
..has asked me not to cIimb the steps with a smiIe.
Now who is Shambhu Sharan?
My Iatest doctor.
I just performed his finaI rites..
..in the graveyard with a smiIe.
Forget him.
Come up. Put your hand out.
Come up.
It Iooks cIose.
But the height is a IittIe too much.
You are up finaIIy.
Today, you have puIIed me up.
Look, God wiII aIso puII you up with a smiIe.
Who wiII Iook after you if I go to heaven?
God wiII. With a smiIe.
Do you know? -An appIe a day keeps the doctor away.
And your forefathers have Ieft behind..
..so many orchids of appIes.
But you stiII run after doctors.
Shampa, I am not fortunate to have appIes.
I am destined to have onIy grapes.
Go get a gIass with a smiIe.
'So this is how Happy's uncIe Chatur is.'
'UncIe Chatur has fixed Happy's marriage..'
'..with his brother-in-Iaw's wife's sister.'
'He invited both of them to his house..'
'..so that both the boy and girI's famiIies couId meet.'
What has happened to him aII of sudden?
Oh, God! Where are you going?
What happened?
The girI is very nice.
But why did you run? -I did not run.
I got excited and moved to a side. -You got excited.
Okay. Come. I wiII taIk to them. Come.
Come on. Come on. -I am very happy. -Are you okay?
Your daughter is reaIIy beautifuI.
But I don't understand how come she was born to you?
Sorry.
This is God's gift.
Yes. Yes.
Oh, God! I Iike her a Iot.
Okay. -Son, what are you doing here sitting among us?
What do you mean?
Where shouId I go? -No. I mean take my daughter to a side..
..and take her around the garden. TaIk to her.
And try to understand each other, son.
We have to expIain these things even..
..to the kids of this generation. -WiII you pIease come to a side?
Come on.
So this is your first marriage? -AImost.
What do you mean by aImost?
You aImost got married before this?
No. The wedding did not happen.
The rest has happened.
Then what is Ieft?
The marriage.
I mean the marriage was fixed.
I got many proposaIs as weII.
But no one discussed the proposaI further.
Amazing. -If you were in London, you wouId have been teased a Iot.
ReaIIy? -You are so beautifuI.
Worthy of being teased.
Now when I come with you to London..
..I wiII be obviousIy be teased.
No. Why wouId someone eIse tease you?
Anyway, you must be weII-educated.
Yes. AImost. -AImost.
Yes. -This AImost is very nice.
Because I am aImost Iiterate.
You ask something as weII.
I have heard that your marriage hasn't been fixed yet.
Why are they taking so Iong?
ShaII I go and find them, brother-in-Iaw?
I'II be right back. -Hey, Iet them taIk.
You answer one question. -Yes?
Why are you throwing away the outer covering..
..of the 'Samosa' (Indian snack)..
..and eating onIy the stuffing?
The doctor has toId me to avoid eating the outside food.
Which doctor? -Shambhu Sharan.
Who Shambhu Sharan?
My Iatest doctor Shambhu Sharan.
Sister, day before itseIf I have performed his..
..funeraI rites with a smiIe.
Brother-in-Iaw, wiII you have it? -No.
Give it to brother-in-Iaw. -Brother-in-Iaw, have it.
Yes, give it to me, I'II eat it.
You wiII reach to Shambhu Sharan directIy.
'Keep waIking. Keep waIking. Keep waIking.'
'You are so sIeepy. So sIeepy. So sIeepy.'
Stop it now. -'Oh, yeS!'
I am puking continuousIy. -I wonder what junk food I consumed.
Hey? Who is sIeeping upside-down?
Upside-down?!
Oh, my God! PIease don't think anything wrong.
I see! He is Iying straight with you..
..and I shouIdn't consider it wrong? -PIease don't.
Because she is teIIing you not to consider it wrong.
I am aIso teIIing you not to consider it wrong.
So the matter is not as wrong as you think it is.
I wiII expIain to you how straight and reverse the matter is.
My son is characterIess!
He has not gIanced at any girI since the Iast forty years.
In fact, he is a virgin.
A virgin! My foot!
His proposaI got fixed now.
And he sIept on my wife's bed.
I wonder where he wiII sIeep after the marriage.
I was not sIeeping. I was dreaming.
Why don't aII of you try to understand?
My son suffers from sIeep-waIking.
If he has a disease, keep it confined to your house.
At Ieast don't spread it outside.
Mummy! Mummy, I don't want to marry a boy..
..who sIeeps on my bed, but wakes up from somewhere eIse.
Look, we've been entertained enough by the hosts.
We won't wait here even for a moment now.
So who has stopped you? -AII of you go away. -Listen to me..
Shut up, free-Ioader of in-Iaws. -At Ieast Iisten to me..
Shut up! Keep quiet!
We wiII get many girIs for our Happy.
I am teIIing you! -Yes. Come on, Iet's go. -Let's go.
We don't want to fix the aIIiance with such a boy either.
They are insuIting us needIessIy.
Look, Mr. Laxmi Narayan, it is reaIIy sad.
The first proposaI is canceIIed.
I have seen his horoscope.
There is onIy one possibiIity.
If this wedding doesn't take pIace he wiII never get married.
Papa, wiII I die a bacheIor?
Let your enemies die.
Look, priest, my son is behaving weird..
..because he has not got married yet. -I can see that.
SecondIy, if you want any extra fees..
..pIease go and find a girI.
You find God as weII if you Iook for HHHim. -Right.
There is one girI. Our Daya Shankar's daughter. -Okay.
But.. -But what?
I want the girI.
Did you hear that? He wants the girI. -Yes, you'II get her.
So you go ahead with the proposaI.
I don't want to get married. -No! No! No!
Dear, you have grown up now.
Right? So you wiII have to get married, dear.
How is it possibIe, dear?
Stop imitating and act wiseIy.
You have reaIIy grown up now, dear.
PIease get married, dear.
Papa, you have grown up as weII. -Why don't you get married too?
Dear, I'II think about remarrying Iater..
..but at Ieast you marry for the first time.
I don't want to get married.
The boy is very decent.
He beIongs to a good famiIy.
You know, that boy Iives in EngIand.
After marriage, you wiII go and settIe in EngIand.
Whether the boy stays in EngIand, GreenIand, White..
..BIue or some IsIand, I don't want to get married! That's it!
Gauri! Gauri, Iisten to me. Gauri! -I wiII not get married.
I wiII not get married. I wiII not get married.
I wiII not get married.
If you won't get married, then what wiII you do?
You have grown so oId.
I.. I am teIIing the truth, I wiII run away.
ReaIIy? You'II run away? Where wiII you run away to?
Bring that rope. Unfasten that rope.
Okay, I'II unfasten the rope for you. -I'II show you right now.
Here. I have unfastened the rope.
Come on, now run and show me. -I'II show you right now.
Look. -Yes, show me. Show me.
Look at this. -SIowIy. SIowIy. Don't faII.
I am going. I am teIIing you. -Gauri, be carefuI, dear.
Be carefuI. SIowIy. Be carefuI, dear. -Papa, I am your daughter.
Yes. Don't faII, dear. Go sIowIy. CarefuIIy.
Be carefuI. Very good. Hey, Iisten! Listen!
Hey, Iisten! Hey, Iisten, Gauri! -Look! Look! Look!
Fantastic! You have cIimbed down very easiIy, dear.
Gauri, you shouId join some circus.
Okay, enough of joking. Enough of joking. Come up now.
I wiII not come up.
Hey?
She has reaIIy run away.
Watch your step, dear. -I am sorry, grandma.
Where are you going? -I am running away from home.
My darIing grandma. -Hey, where are you going? -I am running away.
Yes, run away. I wiII handIe your father.
He said I wiII repent. I repIied that it's my fate.
It's my fate..
UncIe, why are you taking the spoon?
Brother Daya, the disease is such.
Dr. Shambhu Sharan had toId me whiIe..
..prescribing the medicine..
..that I shouId take two teaspoons with water.
Why onIy two? Take four spoons.
Take the whoIe tea set. It is your house.
But not Iike this.. -I don't want the tea set. Where is the girI?
The girI is not at home right now.
How is it possibIe?
WhiIe coming you said that she is at home, come with a smiIe.
That time she was at home, but she isn't now.
Where has she gone now?
The girI has run away.
What a shame! -The girI has eIoped before marriage with a smiIe?
No, no! May God forbid!
What nonsense are you taIking, uncIe Chatur?
She has not run away Iike you think she has.
Then how has she run? -She has run today Iike she runs away daiIy.
Did she use to run with.. on her head daiIy?
No, uncIe Chatur, she is cheerfuI and IiveIy.
Sometimes, she escapes through the door or the window..
..or the terrace. -She has run away from the terrace today.
She wiII return in some time.
But I didn't see your nephew. -Where has he run away?
Where wiII he run off to? -He has come here running from London.
I had taken my bath earIy, so I came first.
He is coming with the priest after me.
UncIe Chatur, he is your nephew, so you know him weII.
Of course.
And Gauri has grown up before your sight. -Yes, definiteIy.
So what do you think?
WiII they make a good pair?
Brother Daya, as for making a good pair..
..the boy's age is IittIe.. -A IittIe..
It is a IittIe more.
And the girI's age is..a IittIe Iess.
They wiII definiteIy make a good pair sIowIy.
So you mean they wiII make a perfect baIance with a smiIe!
That's what I want, uncIe Chatur. That's what I want.
I say, get married.
This is one thing which is compuIsory for everyone to do.
You know, my parents had married, too.
Whom did your papa get married to? -My mummy.
And whom did your mummy get married to? -My papa.
So whom shouId I marry? Mummy or papa?
FooI, you marry the person whom your parents want you to.
AII right. -This work shouId be done.
This is the girI Gauri.
Do you see that fruit? -Yes, yes.
That upper one?
That one? -Yes, that one. -It's that one, right? -Yes, pIuck it.
The girI is good. -So shouId I go ahead?
You wiII go ahead? -Yes.
Why wiII you go ahead?
You don't get invoIved in it. It is my affair.
I wiII go ahead in this matter.
You go ahead in the matter where you are supposed to.
Gauri. -Yes?
Can you pIuck that fruit without cIimbing that tree..
..and without hitting it with a stone? -I don't think so.
Not possibIe.
HeIIo. -Who are you?
I am Harwinder.
My nickname is Happy.
You are Gauri, right? -Why are you pIaying with the chiIdren?
Hey, Mister! -TeII me.
Don't try to fIirt with her.
She is going to get married soon.
Married? But why?
I mean for what? I mean to whom?
With a boy from London.
I know. By the way, he is me.
What? -What? -Yes, by the way. -Oh, so you are that person? -Yes.
You Iook good.
You Iook handsome, too. Cute as weII. -Wow! -Yes.
Thank you. -He Iooks exactIy Iike a hero.
How sweet! She is taIking exactIy Iike my grandma.
She used say this with her broken teeth.
TeII me one thing. -Can you carry me on your Iap?
I have not seen such in fiIms too. -I mean why not?
So come on, carry me.
ShaII I? -Yes.
Come on. -Create a pandemonium.
Oh, wow! He has carried me.
Have a bIast.
Now put me down.
Okay, can you carry me on your shouIder? -Yes?
But why do you want to cIimb on my shouIder?
Let us aIso see how much..
PIease carry me.
Okay. Aren't you overdoing it?
Fantastic! Look..
..they have become friendIy as soon as they met.
No, they have mingIed after being friendIy.
Brother-in-Iaw, they have mingIed with each other.
We have found our daughter-in-Iaw. Radhe-Radhe.
And we have got a son-in-Iaw.
So both of us shouId aIso mingIe with each other.
Brother-in-Iaw, you are wrong. You are wrong. -I see. Here.
You are wrong. You are wrong. -Then where shouId I go?
He is the person. -I am the girI's father.
They have mingIed and you have aIso met.
If you say, shaII I fix the wedding date?
DefiniteIy fix it, priest.
What are you doing? No! No! No!
Wow! You have done it!
Wait a second. Take the 'Naspati' (Pear).
Come on! -How strange! I have come become her husband yet..
..and she has pIucked the pear. -Look, Sharon..
..you are trying to seII our cIients bikini, right? -Yes.
The concept is, Even though the water is coId..
..one who wears the bikini is hot.
What is this game? -Hide and seek with bIindfoId. Turn around.
Which sort of a hide and seek game is this?
You have to catch me. Catch me!
No sound.
Camera. -Action.
Even though the water is coId..
..the one who wears the bikini is hot.
Sir, but this was not written in the script.
It was not in the script? -Hey, out! -Oh, God!
Idiot, you have not caught Gauri, but a fair dame.
Cut!
Idiot! You have ruined our shot. Can't you see?
Is it your age to pIay with the chiIdren? -What?
Have you found a new way to tease the girIs?
Security!
No! No! No! No! It's okay. It's okay. Go! Go!
It's okay, dad.
Let him go.
God bIess you.
Why do you roam as Dhanno?
Your tresses are so scattered. -At Ieast grow up now.
I am. I am 5 feet 5 inches taII.
None of my friends are so taII.
I am taIking about your mind. -Mind? -Grow up mentaIIy.
So give me. -What?
Brains. I wiII make it Iarge right now.
SiIIy girI. -Okay, grandma. -Yes? -You know what happened? -Yes?
That boy from London.. -What did you do with him?
I didn't do anything. -Then?
I was pIaying hide and seek with him.
WhiIe pIaying, he caught that fair dame instead of me.
You are going to get married.
Give up this chiIdishness. -Grandma. -Yes?
Why does one get married?
By getting married, a home gets settIed, a famiIy is formed..
..chiIdren are born. -ReaIIy? -Yes. -So where is your chiId?
I have him. Your father is my chiId.
Listen to this. He is such a big man, he is not a kid.
Even though chiIdren grow up..
..they are aIways chiIdren for their parents.
I don't understand anything. -Hey, you wiII understand everything.
When you have chiIdren, you wiII understand everything.
ReaIIy? -Yes.
Oh! It's you!
Hi. I am Happy. -I see.
I am sorry.
Are you happy or are you sorry?
No, no, my name is Happy.
And I am sorry about that..
It's okay.
I am Sharon. -Hey!
WouId you Iike to come in? -Of course.
I am naughty. I am naughty. I am naughty.
You know what? I have seen you somewhere. -Where?
On.. In London.
Oh! So you Iive in London? -Yes.
Sit down. -Thank you.
WouId you Iike to have something? -You! I mean no. Thank you.
I am naughty.
What brings you to India?
I Iove this country. -Okay.
And I am here for a modeIing assignment. -Good to know that.
What about you?
I have come here for marriage. -Not Iove marriage.
Arranged marriage? -Yes.
What about Iove?
They think once I get married, I wiII faII in Iove too.
What if you don't? -Then?
'So the wedding night is more important for Happy than Iove..'
'..for which he is preparing with great excitement.'
Yes?
May I get that?
You wiII. You definiteIy wiII. The shop is avaiIabIe for that.
Which one do you want?
The one which is used.
AII of them are usefuI here.
What is the name of that thing of yours? -Oh, my God!
Brother, I want a packet of condoms.
Pappu, give him a packet of condoms. -Yes, sir.
Come on. PIease come here.
What is the name of that? -I was referring to what he is saying.
So say that you want condoms.
Which fIavor shouId I give you? -Strawberry, chocoIate or vaniIIa?
No, I don't want ice-cream.
I am not taIking about ice-cream either.
Do you want ribbed or Iubricated?
Brother, don't confuse me.
Give aII the varieties.
Pappu, make a gift box for him.
Rs. 199.
Mummy, what are you doing here?
I have come to take the medicine for pain. And you?
I had aIso come here to take the medicine of my pain.
What pain do you have?
I have a Iot of pain. But no one tries to understand it.
Can I heIp you in any way?
No. It is a pain in which you have to heIp yourseIf.
Rimzim and Coca CoIa. -Ting-a-Iing.
Sharafat said after drinking it. -Ding-dong-ding.
We open a new Iid every night.
They say whether you drink good or bad, whenever you drink..
..drink wine decentIy with Sharafat AIi.
Right.
Drink and make merry, buddy.
TeII me something, brother Jinn. -I mean, dear brother. -Shut up!
You are serving us gin for the first time in Iife. -What's wrong?
ActuaIIy you know our friend Mr. Virgin. -Yes.
He is getting married and becoming a husband.
That's why I'm serving gin to everyone. -I want to be..
So drink gin and say cheers to Mr. Virgin.
Cheers! -Cheers!
Cheers!
Oh, my, my! I didn't sIeep the entire night.
I caught my heart and wept.
It's unfair, beIoved. It's unfair.
Brother Sharafat. -Yes?
But brother Happy is a IittIe innocent.
On the top of it..
..we have not given him compIete training either.
So what wiII he do during his wedding night?
What wiII he do? -Yes?
He wiII eat. He wiII scratch. Switch off the Iights.
And? -He wiII go to sIeep.
By the way, brother Sharafat, I've seen many weddings in Iife.
But you know, by chance, I never got..
..a chance to see a wedding night.
By the way, what do they do on the wedding night?
What eIse?
They do what we do here every night. -Yes.
By the way, if I had got a chance to go to India to..
..attend the wedding, we wouId have danced and ceIebrated.
Yes, definiteIy. And who wouId have worked here?
Your father?
Buddy, we wouId have incurred a Ioss of thousands of pounds.
As for partying, we are having a party here.
Yes. Brother Happy is ceIebrating happiIy in India..
..and we are ceIebrating here in London.
Say cheers once again. -Cheers!
I am sorry.
How wiII our sister-in-Iaw be?
She must be Iying on the wedding bed and bIushing.
She must be swaggering.
She must be showing-off.
She must be feeIing restIess. -Fantastic.
She must be feeIing restIess.
And she must be feeding him by caIIing him Happy.
But so many gifts?
AII of them are mine. Open them. Open them.
Take this one. It is very heavy.
Come on, give it to me. Give here. -Let me check what it contains.
I'II open it. -Open it. Open it. -Sister. -Yes?
PIease check what it contains.
Yes, pIease open it. Open it. -Open it.
Come on, open it. -Hey, wait!
PIease open it, sister. -Wait.
Does it contain chocoIates? -Yes.
PIease open it and see.
The box is big.
BaIIoons! -BaIIoons!
Yes! -BaIIoons!
Oh, my God! So many baIIoons!
To whom do they beIong? Me!
You are very Iucky. -So I am.
You know what we have to do. -Yes.
Yes!
Mr. Daya Shankar, don't worry at aII. -Okay.
TiII Gauri's passport and visa is prepared..
..Happy wiII stay with uncIe.
Why not? Of course.
It is your generosity, Mr. Laxmi Narayan.
Go, son. Start the new journey of your Iife.
Your mother has taken an oath.
Now I wiII go on a piIgrimage with her.
Radhe-Radhe. -You go on a piIgrimage..
..so something good wiII happen to me here.
Fantastic! Come on, darIing.
How strange!
'So that moment of wedding night did arrive in Happy's Iife..'
'..for which Happy was waiting since many years.'
Hey? What's this?
I had a dream that today I'II enter the room..
..raise your veiI and you wiII feed miIk to me.
But the gIass of miIk is Iying far away.
And you? You are Iying there?
Hey! Tonight is not the night to sIeep, but do something eIse.
In fact, I say that it is the night to..
..sIeep after many things have happened.
Have a bIast! Have a bIast.
UncIe!
Listen! Listen!
What is it? -The screams are being heard from their room. -UncIe!
Let her scream. It is their wedding night.
You had aIso screamed with a smiIe. Go to sIeep quietIy.
Hey, she is not screaming, it's he who is shouting.
UncIe!
WiII you go and check or shouId I go?
Keep quiet! Quiet! You don't shout.
Oh, why are they shouting?
UncIe! -What's wrong, nephew?
UncIe! -What's wrong?
Gauri is not in the room. -What?
Gauri is not in the room.
If Gauri is not in the room, she must be out.
She is not out either. -If she is not out, she must be inside.
She is not inside either. -If she is not inside, she must be up.
She is not up either. -If she is not up, she must be down.
She is not down either. -She must be in front.
She is not in front either. -She must be..
She is not in the front..
..the back, up, down, inside, out, nowhere.
If she is not in front, back, up, down, in, out, nowhere..
..then where has she gone with a smiIe?
That's what I am asking you. -Why are you asking me in return?
Listen, honey, where has Gauri gone with a smiIe?
Hurray! -Come on!
The bride has come. Come on, pick up the paIanquin.
Where has everyone gone?
Come on! Come on!
Where has everyone gone? I don't see anyone.
Just because I went to the bathroom..
My sweet home..
Hey, where has everyone gone?
Hey! Gauri, no one has gone anywhere, dear.
Everyone is set on their pIaces with a smiIe.
Come on, Iet's go home. Everyone is searching for you.
Come on, dear.
Start Ioving quickIy..
Gauri, where had you gone?
'Doodha' (MiIk). -'Doodha'? -Yes.
Say again. -Doodha.
Doodha!
I am not in a hurry to raise the veiI.
But I wonder why I am feeIing scared on hearing your voice.
Let me know who this is.
No! What has happened?
How did it happen?
When did it happen?
Why did it happen?
Listen. I have heard that when someone is overjoyed..
..her face changes.
Look, I beg of you. PIease come in your reaI form.
This is my reaI face.
This is your reaI face? -Yes.
Then you are my new woman.
Then this wedding is not a wedding.
You are not my wife.
I am not your husband.
In such a situation, the question is, Where is she?
You were sIim before marriage.
How did you become so fat now?
Hurray!
We have not ceIebrated the wedding night yet..
..then from where have these chiIdren come?
You have got us in dowry. Understood?
Quiet. It is a crime to take and give dowry.
ReaIIy? So it's a sin? Then you are the father of..
..of us chiIdren, you drunkard.
Drunkard?! I am not a drunkard.
Come on, Iet's run! -Let's run!
Let's run quickIy. -Come on, hurry up.
Make your darIing daughter understand.
She was missing the entire night and our chiIdren, too.
It is the Iimit. -I'II expIain to her. I'II expIain to her.
When wiII I be abIe to do it? -You wiII be.
What wouId we have done if anything..
..had happened to our chiIdren? -She has no sense.
Shut up! Everyone is after my daughter.
Grandma, I had gone because of them. -They toId me..
..Come with us, we'II have great fun at the wedding.
To attend someone eIse's wedding.
So I went to attend someone eIse's wedding instead of mine.
What is my fauIt in it?
Oh, grandma! -CaIm down, Gauri. CaIm down.
CaIm down. CaIm down.
AII of you pIease go, I'II expIain to her. PIease go.
Let's go, chiIdren. -ExpIain to her. Why don't you expIain to her?
I am sorry. I am sorry. PIease go.
When wiII I be abIe to do it? -What?
That thing which shouId happen after the wedding.
Honeymoon? -I don't know about the honeymoon.
It's enough if I can ceIebrate our wedding night.
When, where and how wiII I be abIe..
..to ceIebrate my wedding night?
Son, I can teII you when and where..
..but how can I teII you how? -I am the girI's father, after aII.
If I can't ask you, shouId I ask grandma?
It's useIess to ask grandma. -She had got married many years ago..
..she must not remember anything.
If I can't ask you, I can't ask grandma..
..and she is not worth asking. -So whom shouId I ask, after aII?
Do one thing. You ask your uncIe. -I shouId ask uncIe? -Yes.
ReIax. ReIax. Be patience.
You may go wrong in haste.
Gauri is stiII a kid. -She is immature.
What does she know what happens after and before marriage?
You wiII have to expIain her, son.
UncIe, first I was immature.
Now she is immature.
Do you understand what's happening in this immaturity?
So you wiII have to expIain to her.
How can I expIain Gauri?
Her famiIy members wiII expIain it to her.
I can teII you. You are my dear one.
Look, son, it is not a foreign pIace.
It is our viIIage. -A sweet viIIage.
A smaII viIIage.
The girIs and women here first don't..
..aIIow anyone to touch them.
And when they do, they surrender compIeteIy.
What?
Take your aunt's instance. -It took me one month to touch her.
One month! -Yes. -That's too much.
That's what I'm saying. Don't make any fuss. Nothing.
ReIax. Don't get carried away in emotions.
Go quietIy. It is a caIm pIace.
Sit there for awhiIe.
Look at the water. FeeI the cooI breeze.
I'II be back in some time. -Where are you going?
I am going to do your work.
Life is..what do they caII it in EngIish? -Adjustment.
Yes. Understood?
You adjust a IittIe and she wiII adjust a IittIe.
Then Iife wiII smiIe and keep smiIing.
SiIIy boy! Why do you become sad? Go and sit there. -I am not sad.
I am not sad. I'II be back in some time. -I am thinking.
Okay, Iisten. -Yes?
If anyone asks, say that you are uncIe Chatur's nephew. -Okay.
Fine? The chiIdren nowadays don't know what adjustment is.
Is it caIIed Iife?
I'II adjust a IittIe. You adjust a IittIe.
It is the account of Iove.
Think carefuIIy before you invest.
I'II adjust a IittIe. You adjust a IittIe.
I am in a fixed deposit since many years.
I am standing where I was.
I am in a fixed deposit since many years.
I am standing where I was.
No interest. No premium. No per capita income.
How shouId I impress you? You suggest.
I'II adjust a IittIe. You adjust a IittIe.
It is the account of Iove.
Think carefuIIy before you invest.
Someone teII the boss to send more money here.
We are standing on the edge, the waves hit here.
Someone teII the boss to send more money here.
We are standing on the edge, the waves hit here.
Yes, we can progress, have confidence in us.
We Iove you, don't harass us.
I'II adjust a IittIe. You adjust a IittIe.
It is the account of Iove.
Think carefuIIy before you invest.
I'II adjust a IittIe. You adjust a IittIe.
A IittIe.
A IittIe. -Adjust.
A IittIe me. -Adjust.
PIease adjust.
Hey? -BeautifuI! Isn't it?
What? -The wiId weather.
Yes. BeautifuI to Iook at. Then just forget it.
Why? Why didn't you invite me to your wedding?
I couIdn't even caII my cousins from London.
I had to get married instantIy.
Okay. Come home.
I have got a gift for you. -A gift?
Hey, wait! -I can't bIow my baIIoon at aII.
Wait. -Sister, run! Run! Run!
Oh, come on, Iet's run! Let's run!
He said I'II repent. I said it's my fate.
He asked what do I want..
Hey?
There are so many appIes on onIy this tree and safety on this?
I had grown the tree of appIes, but how did safety grow on it?
Champa! Champa, do you hear with a smiIe?
I have seen an unbeIievabIe scene.
I am hearing. Have you ever said anything?
I am saying.
Now I have understood why there is a downfaII..
..in the harvest of appIes this year.
Why? -The safety measure which we used..
..to use during our youth days..
..now the trees have started using them.
What have they started using?
Oh, shameIess feIIow!
Do I Iook sexy? -Very sexy!
No, no!
Good. In this box, there is another night dress.
Give it to your wife from me and she wiII aIso Iook sexy.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Gauri! Gauri! -Yes? -Look what I have brought for you.
What have you brought? -Come here for a second. -Yes.
PIease turn around. -ShouId I turn around? -Yes.
Why? -PIease turn around.
AII right. I have turned.
Hey, what are you doing?
Whenever you come near me, you start undressing me.
I wiII compIain to grandma about you. -But I am your husband.
Even I know that you are my husband.
So if you know that I am your husband..
..why are you treating me Iike a stranger?
What nonsense are you taIking? -I mean to say you..
You be cIose to me.
Come cIoser. -Here. I have come. TeII me.
Come cIoser. -Okay. Now teII me.
Yes. Look in my eyes now.
Why? Do you have any probIem in your eyes?
Yes, I have a big probIem.
And you can get rid of this probIem..
..without taking any troubIe.
And even if you feeI a IittIe pain, there is no probIem.
Look at me with Iove.
Is it Iove? -Yes.
Look Iike this.
Look more IovingIy.
Keep on Iooking.
Keep on Iooking Iike this.
You are doing the same thing again. I'II bite you.
Hey, I am thinking about spending my Iife with you..
..and if you bite me, how wiII our Iife be spent?
Hey! -Why are you taking the rounds? -How does she bite?
What are you pIaying? -Let's do something. Come on, Iet's pIay.
Life is not a game.
I am taIking about that game because..
..of which you came into this worId.
Because of the game I came to this worId.
Because of the game this worId is going on.
Because of the game the great ones come to this worId..
..they come and pIay and come whiIe pIaying.
It is the game of Iove.
Everyone is pIaying.
I want to pIay it, too.
So shaII we pIay? -It's happening. It's happening.
Very good. Very good. It's perfect. Sit. -Yes.
Very good. I was taIking about this game itseIf.
What probIem do you have in being cIose with me?
Whenever you come cIose to me, why do you undress me?
I undress you because I've brought new cIothes for you. -Wow!
Oh, yes. -ReaIIy? -Look! Look at this. -Oh, wow!
Wear and see. You wiII Iook Iike a normaI girI.
This is.. -Just Iike others. -It is very beautifuI. -Yes.
You wear it.
How can I wear it?
Wear it for my sake.
PIease. -AII right. Okay. Very good.
So if I'II wear it, wiII you too wear it Iooking at me?
Yes. I'II wear it.
Promise? -Promise.
Very good.
Oh, God! Why are you undressing before me?
If I don't undress you, can't I undress myseIf either?
AII right. Remove them. TeII me when you wear it. Okay?
Yes, I am undressing.
Just wait.
Did you wear it?
ShaII I open my eyes?
How do I Iook?
Isn't it? -You Iook mind-bIowing!
Let's do one thing. Let's pIay now.
Hey, I am not a toy. -Come on.
What's wrong? Did it catch fire?
What's wrong? -Come on!
Yes? -Oh, my God!
Nephew, how did you become Iike this with a smiIe?
When did I get a chance to smiIe?
As soon as I teII her to smiIe with a smiIe..
..she smiIes and gives a new excuse for smiIing.
What sort of a girI have you brought?
I have brought a girI Iike a girI.
But teII me, why don't you Iook Iike a boy?
Don't touch.
Why don't you Iook Iike a boy?
As soon as I teII the girI to be Iike..
..a girI and the boy Iike a boy..
..the girI doesn't behave Iike a girI, she fights and..
..makes the boy behave Iike a girI. -Is this the way?
No experiments.
Is it.. -Forgive me, master!
Mind bIowing!
I don't understand anything with a smiIe.
Hey! Hey!
Hey!
You can't do this to me.
No! No! No! No!
Hey! Hey!
I think she doesn't want anything.
And I shouIdn't force the one who doesn't want anything.
Some peopIe are frustrated about sex..
..whiIe the others have no interest in it.
She is so different.
She doesn't know anything about it.
Then you must teach her.
I can teach her.
But somebody shouId teach me first.
She is the best teacher in the worId.
Here is a book on Kamasutra.
Study it together.
I have found a source.
Let's see if it works or not.
Chatur, what are you doing?
Why are sitting with your mouth open under the Iights?
Is everything fine?
Brother Daya, I am feeIing heavy since Iast 2½ years.
ReaIIy? -Yes.
You know Dr. Shambhu Sharan. -Yes. -Before dying..
..he had said that a heart patient shouId eat Iight.
Since then I change the buIbs and eat Iight.
Sometimes the 100 watt buIb or 40 watt buIb or zero watt buIb.
But what are you doing, uncIe Chatur?
Eat this heavy sweet.
You'II feeI Iight by eating it.
ReaIIy? -Yes. Eat it.
It is tasty. You seem to be a doctor, too.
I am feeIing very Iight.
Where is dear Gauri? I don't see her around.
You wiII see her if you Iook around for her.
She is pIaying in the garden.
You go and eat her head.
I am feeIing Iight on eating the heavy sweets. -Okay.
You feeI Iighter. FeeI Iighter.
But don't become so Iight that you fIy to Shambhu Sharan.
Oh, father, you have dropped my appIes.
Oh, Gauri! Gauri, I was Iooking for you. -How are you?
What do you mean by how? -I am as I was.
You know, I had come to see you.
Why? Haven't you ever seen me?
You are seeing me since years.
You wiII never improve.
WeII, dear, I am very happy to see you happy.
And you aIways be happy, okay?
And Iisten. -Yes?
Keep him happy too. -He? Who he?
So you have come. -Yes.
What are you hiding?
The thing which I can't show you.
What is it that you can't show me? -What I am hiding.
What are you hiding from your aunt, nephew?
The thing which I can't show aunt.
I can show you, but not here.
If you saw it here, you wiII Iose your controI.
Why wiII I Iose my controI?
You wiII start smiIing here.
Yes. I am sorry.
AII right. Go. SmiIe at Ieisure.
Hey? What is it that you understood and I didn't?
It is a very normaI thing. You won't understand.
Do one thing. Do aII the househoId chores.
If you need anything XYZ..if you need anything, don't caII me.
Okay? Go.
Oh!
Today you..
Don't torture me, girI.
Get aside. Let me watch the cartoon.
Why do you aIways keep watching cartoons?
If you want to watch, then watch me.
Why? Are you a cartoon?
Don't taIk nonsense.
You are a grown-up. -It doesn't suit you to watch the..
..cartoon and pIay with chiIdren.
If you want to watch, then watch this.
If you watch this..
..you wiII understand why you shouId watch this.
By the way, you can watch, but you are ignoring it..
..inspite of watching it, I can see that.
Because you are not watching what you shouId watch..
..and you are watching what you shouIdn't watch.
What did uncIe see in you after aII?
At Ieast he shouId have seen whether..
..you have the sense to see or not.
See!
ChiII! ChiII! ChiII! -Why do you aIways scare me? -Oh, no.
Show me.
Good.
I am naughty.
Naughty. Yeah.
Where has she gone?
Come.
It's happening. It's happening.
WeIcome. Come in.
Look, I have decorated it niceIy.
Have a Iook. -Huh?
In which meIody shouId I sing?
Which new song shouId I sing?
What shouId I do? Where shouId I go?
What shouId I pIay?
What shouId I sing?
Where shouId I go?
You never drink. What's wrong today?
Nothing happened today.
I mean nothing happened today either.
I mean if you understand carefuIIy..
..nothing has happened tiII date.
Your hard work. My hard touch. And touch.
Nothing happened.
The cameI is better than me.
It waIks in sun.
It doesn't get water tiII a Iong distance.
But at Ieast that happens.
The he-cameI and she-cameI give each other company..
..Iike this tiII far off.
With such a huge body, the eIephant..
..the he-eIephant does the program with..
..the she-eIephant in the river.
Okay, forget the eIephant.
Forget the eIephant.
A mosquito.
I mean a he-mosquito aIso does a..
..program with the she-mosquito.
That's why so many mosquitoes are born..
..in so many pIaces in the worId, right?
I don't want to discuss dogs.
But the dogs don't have a probIem anywhere.
They can do anything anywhere.
They don't have any probIem in the worId.
But a man has to be very carefuI.
I mean the husband beIongs to his wife.
But inspite of me being her husband..
..why does she has an objection?
It means I am her husband now, but I am stiII a virgin.
Oh, baby! Don't be so sad.
I wiII make you happy.
It's aII about sIeep-waIking.
SIeep waIking.
Oh, yeah.
FeeI so sIeepy. SIeepy.
Oh, my God!
Where are you going? Come back.
FeeI my body. -Hey?
No! No! No!
No! Just a second.
I mean this is not right.
I mean this is not done.
I mean this is..
Hey?
I see. So you raped her finaIIy.
No. She respected me and handed over..
..her respect to me respectfuIIy.
And you took it?
But it happened by mistake. -But you did take it.
Yes, but I was not in my senses. -You were drunk?
Then why have you come to fiIe a report? -You are too much.
Look, a man is innocent whiIe being drunk.
Whatever happens after it is good.
But I can't face my wife.
Then wash your face and go home.
Take a bath and go.
Look, I don't take a bath and come to do my duty.
I take a bath here and go home.
It means I am not raped?
Buddy, men don't have any respect.
What are you saying?
I mean they have respect, but it can't be snatched away.
Okay, teII me, how did it happen?
ActuaIIy I didn't know aII this. -What?
I didn't have the knowIedge about it. -I see. About that.. -Yes.
So I had gone there to study.
And you got impressed there? -No, no, I had gone there to study.
You had gone there to read and returned after writing.
No, no, she made me write. -Who is she to make you write?
It is He who writes.
He has written everything as to who wiII write where.
Look at me. I don't know to write anything.
I didn't write anything tiII date.
Inspite of it, I have four chiIdren. -ReaIIy?
What ReaIIy? It reaIIy is a case of goodness.
Look, the good thing is that that girI did it to you..
..without any payment.
And you are better than her as you supported her..
..to do such a good thing.
And I am better than both of you who is not fiIing this case.
Because the case is fiIed against the person..
..who hurts someone. -Now if I go to that girI and ask..
..Did this boy give you any pain?
She wiII say, I didn't feeI any pain, I enjoyed it.
Can I make a case of having fun?
Isn't it interesting? -So you aIso get up and have fun.
Dance, sing, Iaugh and make merry.
Did the raiIway train start, nephew?
It happened, uncIe. -But what happened, nephew?
What I wanted to do didn't happen.
What was not happening has happened, uncIe. -It has happened?
Yes, it has happened.
You mean it has happened with a smiIe, right?
Yes, by meeting each other. -Meeting each other? -Yes.
Listen, honey. Listen!
What happened? -What had happened between us during youth..
..has happened with him now. -But what happened?
Something good must have happened with a smiIe.
With a smiIe? -Yes.
Come on, we wiII smiIe, too.
We had smiIed in the morning with a smiIe.
What's the probIem if you smiIe a IittIe more?
I have withered after smiIing so much.
I can't read the newspaper as weII.
Come on!
Pass it to me. Give here. Pass it to me. Pass here. Oh, yes!
Give it here. -Come on, hurry up! Make it fast.
Give here. Pass it here. Be quick. Hurry up. Pass it here.
Give it to me quickIy. Hurray!
Oh, what are you doing, sister Gauri? -Sister!
Sister Gauri. -Yes? -Come on, Iet's go and pIay. -Yes.
Come on.
Look, sister Gauri is sitting there. -Let's go to her.
Sister Gauri! Sister Gauri!
Gauri! Sister Gauri! -Hey, you are sitting here?
And we searched high and Iow for you.
You ran away from us yesterday, too..
..and now you are sitting here with a downtrodden face.
You didn't come to pIay with us either.
Why? What's wrong?
You know that rude guy.
I feIt very bad seeing him with that girI.
I was feIt Iike strangIing him. -ReaIIy?
But I wonder why I was feeIing so strange.
I know. -He is your toy.
Whether you pIay with him or not, it's your wish.
But you can never bear if someone eIse pIays with him. -Yes.
Why are you breaking things?
Gauri, what's wrong with you?
Are you aII right? -I am fine, grandma. But he has gone crazy.
You know my husband!
He was hugging that girI before my sight.
So my fears have come true at Iast. -You are at fauIt.
Why are you bIaming the others?
Grandma, you are aIso taunting me?
No, I am not taunting you, I am expIaining it to you.
That's why I used to teII you to give up your chiIdishness.
I didn't have a grip on your grandpa for..
..40 years without making any efforts.
I used to dress up and adorn myseIf before he returned home.
He used to start roaming around me as soon as he returned.
He used to caII me his sweetheart and darIing.
Now you go home and adorn yourseIf as weII.
Look, appIy kohI in your eyes, grace the head adornment..
..deck a fIower braid in your tresses..
..wear bangIes in your hands and bedeck yourseIf.
And as soon as he comes, bIush and touch his feet.
Then watch how he wiII get attracted to you.
He wiII not even gIance at anyone eIse. Yes.
ReaIIy? -Of course.
Oh, grandma!
Hi.
You have come.
Gauri. -Yes.
You have come.
Gauri, pIease don't do this.
PIease.
I want to teII you something.
I aIso want to teII you something.
But you say it first.
Gauri, what shouId have happened here..
..happened eIsewhere.
And what happened eIsewhere..
..it can't happen here.
I feII in Iove with somebody eIse.
I am here.
And my mind is eIsewhere.
I won't Iike it.
And it wiII be unfair to you, too.
I can be unjust neither to you nor to myseIf.
But Iisten..
You said what you had to say.
When it was my turn to teII you..
..you Ieft without Iistening to me.
AIthough Iate. -But I understood what you mean.
BeIoved.
AIthough Iate. -But I understood what you mean.
BeIoved.
My arms caII out to you.
Don't go away.
BeIoved.
AIthough Iate. -But I understood what you mean.
What happened? -What happened?
BeIoved. -BeIoved.
It was my immaturity.
I was a bit ignorant, too.
I recognized your Iove today.
Do justice.
Forgive me.
I reaIized your Iove today.
My arms caII out to you.
Don't go away.
BeIoved.
AIthough Iate. -But I understood what you mean.
BeIoved.
There are a few smoIdering desires.
There are a few yearning needs.
Your heart is now my Iair.
I crave for you aII the time.
There is a sweet burning sensation in my breaths.
I have to win your Iove now.
My arms caII out to you.
Don't go away.
BeIoved.
AIthough Iate. -But I understood what you mean.
BeIoved.
Sharon.
Where did she go? -Hi.
Are you Ieaving for somewhere?
It's time to move on.
And what about me?
Happy.
I wish you aII the happiness.
No.
I cannot be happy without you.
Don't you Iove me?
Of course, I do.
You are my very speciaI friend.
But I am a wanderer.
A free spirit.
Can you capture the wind in your hand?
No.
What about what transpired between us?
That was fun.
What? -Why? Didn't you enjoy it?
Yes.
Look, Happy.
Whatever Iessons of Iove you Iearnt from me..
..take them to your wife. -And make her happy.
It's time to go.
Bye.
Bye, Happy. Love you.
Learned peopIe say..
In a particuIar year, in a particuIar month..
..on a particuIar day, when you make Iove..
..to a particuIar girI in a particuIar way..
..you wiII attain bIiss.
But in London, in America, everybody is doing it.
And they are doing very weII. -So what's the probIem here?
Foreigners have affairs. They get married. They get divorced.
They get divorced. They don't get divorced.
But they do that thing for which they do aII this.
If I do something..
..why does this happen?
I Ieft her.
She Ieft me.
Where do I go? -Stop.
I have stopped.
Gauri, stop.
You think I am Gauri?
I am not going anywhere.
Sister. -Where are you going?
Sister, stop. -Sister.
Sister.
Where are you going?
Stop.
Gauri.
You fooI.
You were going to commit suicide.
Now your Iife is mine.
You don't have any right to Iay down..
..your Iife which is now mine.
What are you bIabbering?
You had Ieft me, right?
Yes.
I had Ieft you.
Now I have understood the difference between Iove and Iust.
I understood it quite Iate.
OnIy Iove can understand Iove.
What happened to you, uncIe?
Nothing.
For the first time, I am shedding tears of joy.
Go away. You don't Iove me. -I Iove you.
That's why I tried to Iove you so much.
I suffered. And you went on tormenting me.
So what if I tormented you?
So what if you tormented me?
You won't change.
I shouId jump.
No. I won't torment you now.
PIease.
Let's pIay. -Again pIay.
You are stiII obsessed about games. -Not that game.
I am taIking about the game that Ieads to procreation.
And the game that peopIe pIay for procreation.
That game? -Yes.
It's happening. It's happening. -It's happening.
Our time begins now.
Why are you crying?
I won't drink more miIk.
It's not for you. It's for the kids. HoId it.
And who are you for?
For you.
What name have you decided?
You decide. -Don't name him Happy.
His stomach wiII be Iike this if he is very fat.
You are so naughty.
Subtitle by Aldi Arman